Don’t Should on Yourself

During the storm last week I should have sewn more.

Over the weekend I should have made progress on the Field Day Zipper.

When I have a spare moment, I should be working on the Teenaged Boy Black & Grey Donation Quilt.

I should be farther along sewing triangles to the leftover octagons.

These are words going through my head recently. Finally, I sat myself down and we talked.

I DO want to sew. Really. There is no reason I shouldn’t be sewing. I feel like I want to work on a project about which I am really excited. The problem is that I have a couple of other projects I also really want to get done, mostly to get the off my plate. I am not excited about them, so creative things kind of bog down.

I have to figure out what will get me out of this mood. Am I in a rut? Did I should badly on some projects that are not exciting me? Are projects not moving off my design wall fast enough? I don’t know.

My mom always says I shouldn’t ‘should’ on myself. I do a lot and I get stuff done. beating myself up about sewing is stupid. Yes, I want to finish projects, but clearly there is something else going on. Life is taking up space in my head and that is a thing that sometimes happens. Other stuff I enjoy is getting shoved aside for a lot of things I feel I ‘should’ do.

Author: Jaye

Quiltmaker who enjoys writing and frozen chocolate covered bananas.

8 thoughts on “Don’t Should on Yourself”

  1. Ugh – sorry you are feeling this way! I agree – out with the “shoulds”!

    Why not make one of your holiday gifts to yourself the “ok” to start something new? I’m thinking of the Cheryl Arkison blog post as well as my own creative process: sometimes I need the “juice” from the new to help charge me up to finish the old that I really don’t want to work on right now.

    Either way, sending you hugs! I’m glad you’re heading down the path of being gentle on yourself. 🙂

  2. Second commentary in a day from me…ain’t ya lucky? 😀

    The “should-a’s” can really trip you up. I am more used to hearing or saying I shoulda walked longer today, I shoulda stayed away from the wine cabinet last night, I shoulda washed the car, etc.

    Giving ourselves more permissions to do “wanna’s” is healthier. Not easy sometimes, but healthier, mentally. Will you do a better job if you work on a project because you shoulda or because you feel like it?

    I think time goes in cycles…time for projects or drawing or painting or whatever, comes in cycles. Look at me today! I don’t post for eons and then, bam, I post two long ones!

    Don’t let the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s bog you down. It is bad for your psyche. 😀

  3. I hope you can give yourself a break, Jaye. Looks to me like you accomplish an awful lot including these great and informative blog posts! Take it easy and work on something that makes your heart sing.

  4. Hi,

    Appears you have a stressful “real” job. Quilting is something you do to relieve the stress?-among other things. The “shoulds” add stress. Okay. Not saying anything you don’t know. How about this: Give yourself permission to quit a project that no longer fires you up. You don’t have to throw it away. It can be donated to your guild, or mailed to some lucky reader of your blog, or whatever. You have my permission (lol). There. Now you can go on to the things that inspire you. 🙂

    Like the song says: Be happy.

    1. My son’s band plays a song called Happy for their competitions. With your comment in mind, I bought a piece of fabric to resolve a problem so I could get going on a quilt that has been on hold because of the color problem. Thanks.

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